I've had this post sitting in my drafts for a while. I'm not sure why I have been hesitant to share. Maybe it's because I'm hesitant to give advice in any way, shape or form. Maybe it's because I think it is particularly poorly written. Who knows. I've decided to post it after all. I hope it doesn't come across as preachy.
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When I was pregnant my attitude towards advice ran the
spectrum. Sometimes I cherished it and
other times it took major restraint to hold back my eye roll.
Now that I have been through the three toughest, yet most
rewarding months of my life, I thought that I would dispense a few nuggets of
my own.
1. The Bunny Sleeper –
I LOVE this thing.
I know. I know. One
more thing that takes up a lot of room and costs 50 bucks, right? Trust me, this sucker is worth every
penny! The first two months of his life,
Doster LIVED in this thing. It’s
perfect for babies that have gas, spit up, and are fussy during sleep
time. Though he doesn’t sit in it too
much now, he still takes really great naps in it.
Various sizes of Bunny Seat Love:
(I love how he is pointing to his tummy)
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2. Hospital Flowers
We were so blessed to receive beautiful arrangements from
family, coworkers and friends and they truly brightened up our hospital room. But
flowers can be really hard to take home from the hospital. My friend, Joy, had the great suggestion to
donate them to hospital patients that perhaps don’t have many visitors. Great idea! We took home one bouquet and our
nurse promised to deliver the rest to some elderly patients on the next floor.
3. Saying No and Saying Yes
I’m a people-pleaser and have a hard time saying “no” to
random requests and “yes” when accepting help!
I was pretty overwhelmed the first few weeks after Doster
was born. We are so blessed to have
wonderful family and friends, which meant a lot of people wanted to visit. In the beginning I had a really tough time
denying a request. When the baby was
sleeping, I wanted to sleep, not have a zombie-like visit where I don’t even appreciate
our guest because I am so sleepy. I quickly learned that most people prefer
honesty and will not be offended if you ask them to wait until you feel more
settled.
It was also difficult for me to accept help in the
beginning. I wish I knew why, maybe some
sort of guilt-trip in the back of my brain.
But nowadays, the mail man could offer to sweep my house and I’d let him
in to do it. Okay, not really, though I
do have a very nice mailman.
4. Diapers
I know that every baby bottom is different. At first I had a hard time letting go of the
name-brand stuff, but now that we are in size 2, the Target brand is really
rocking for me. They are half the price
of the Pampers!
5. The first few weeks are really hard, but it gets better.
I wish I could go back in time and tell the me of two months
ago to calm down. Call it hormone changes, call it baby blues, call it
whatever you like--- I was in a bad place.
Please don’t think I didn’t love being a mom or wasn’t crazy about my baby. I was just mentally and physically exhausted
and I did not see a light at the end of the tunnel.
Once the craziness of the first few weeks wears off and the
baby sleeps a little bit more, life is SO much easier. You learn, you get your routine going, you
build confidence and life gets awesome.
6. You don’t have to wash your pump parts every time, you
can put them the fridge!
7. Newborn poops are really loud. Watch out.
8. I think a playmat is a great investment. Doster LOVES his.
9. Don’t spend a ton of money on crib bedding. Our pediatrician does NOT recommend a bumper
(even though they are super-cute, lame, right?).
10. Its hard not to splurge
on cute baby clothes but you really don’t need that many since you have to do
laundry constantly.
Okay, I could babble on and on about the lessons that I’ve
learned already, but I think I’ll stop now and leave you with last pearl of
Mandi-ness:
11. The most important
words of advice I can give to a first time pregnant woman: Don’t get upset when
your plan goes awry.
My personal birth plan did not include an induction or a cesarean.
I felt defeated when I ultimately had to
do both. In retrospect I wish I could
have saved myself the mental stress by “letting go” earlier. Had I allowed my doctor to perform the
cesarean when he first wanted to, I could have saved myself a great deal of unnecessary
pain, discomfort and exhaustion (24 hours of it!) and enjoyed my first moments
with Doster even more (without blacking out from sleep deprivation so soon!).
When my breastfeeding situation didn’t go exactly as
planned, I had to begin supplementing with formula. I sobbed for weeks, feeling like a failure because
my “plan” was so engrained in my mind that I wouldn’t let myself accept reality
(more on the breastfeeding journey in a much later post).
It can be hard to free yourself from the mental picture you’ve
created. But if you can find a way to go
with the flow and let your plan evolve, you’ll be much happier, much faster.
That’s it for me for now!
